I find it very disturbing how a simple crush in high school can affect your decisions, behaviour and even life choices.

I don’t even know him that much, but he’s been hunting my mind for years. I keep telling myself I’m not damaged, because well, I’m just like everybody else right?

Just as I think I got over him, I think about all the struggle I’ve had, and it just comes back.

I’ve only spoke to him twice, but in my head, we know everything about each other. I’m crying myself to sleep every night because of the ideal image I’ve created in my head to feel normal, like a real teen that knows what love is, that has experienced it at least once. But I didn’t. Never.