I was figuring out my thoughts and feelings…I stumbled across this page. I guess it might help to try and type my feelings into words.
I just feel empty. All emotional with no real explanation. I’ve dealt with previous issues in the past but not nearly as bad as others that I have spoken with. I feel genuinely pathetic. The worse thing is that I barely have any memory from my childhood or even like last year. It is like my brain has forced out all the negative things that occurred in my brain.
An example of this is from when my Granddad died, I can’t remember how long ago it was as I’ve forgotten. But I still find it incredibly tough to deal with. I was in like year 9 and I started self-harming, it wasn’t enough to damage the skin but it was enough to damage me emotionally. Even now, I still won’t let it go and I still hate myself but I still think of it as a coping mechanism. It was a way of transferring emotional pain and making it physical.
If you’re reading this, I’m sorry. All my thoughts and feelings are always jumbled and I talk rubbish the majority of the time but somehow typing helps. Just feel empty and don’t know where to go from here.
Thank you if you’re reading this, hope you can stay strong.